BULLYING: Help Your Child Handle A Bully

We all have our trials and tribulations with our kids, no matter who we are. Now that school has started, our kids have a lot more to worry about than homework, and what to wear . At some point, your child will be picked on or will have his feelings hurt by others. Bullying is a big problem that affects lots of kids. The stress of dealing with bullies can make kids feel hurt, sick, lonely, sad, embarrassed and scared. It can make school a place of fear and can lead to more violence and more stress for everyone. Bullying does not only affect the kids who are getting picked on. It affects the parents and love ones, because you want to keep your kids safe and protected, but how can you when you don't know how Sometimes parents are left feeling helpless.

Some bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. They might hit, kick, or push to hurt people, or use words to call names, threaten, tease, or scared them. When they pick on someone else, it can make them feel big and powerful.

Sometimes bullies know that what they are doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others. Some may be copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves.

Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who have trouble sticking up for themselves, someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some ways. Sometimes they just pick on kids for no reason at all.

Unless your child tells you about bullying- or has visible bruises or injuries- it can be difficult to figure out if it's happening. But there are some warning signs. Parents might notice kids acting differently or seeming anxious, or not eating, sleeping well, or doing the things they usually enjoy.



One afternoon I went to pick up my daughter Olivia's from school. Upon arrival, Olivia and a trail of her friends mentioned that a classmate punched her in the face, apparently he thought she was another student. I was fuming, all kinds of thoughts ran through my mind. Protection mode kicked in ( I felt like a superhero searching for the villain to whoop that a$$).

Now apparently, this kid we've known since first grade, was hiding because he knew that I didn't play when it comes to Olivia. I knew he had some home issues, but that does not excuse his behavior. I wasn't going to do anything to him, just wanted to get his attention. But the fact that he was hiding, made me even more furious, something had to be done. I spoke to the security (who then sent me to a school aide, who in turn sent me back to security, who then ushered me back to school aide) ugh. I couldn't take it anymore, so I went back outside to search for the villain. by the time I was finish I was exhausted. I march up to the office, I requested to speak to the somebody, any body, and, I think I even requested to speak to president Obama, can't remember and I didn't care. All I kept thinking about was the hit to my poor baby's face.

I mentioned that I didn't want him to get in any major trouble, I just wanted someone to talk to him about putting his hands on other people. The next day as soon as the villain (oops I meant student) saw me, he came up to me and apologized (probably couldn't sleep, because he had me on his mind). I told him, regardless that it was meant for someone else, you shouldn't put your hands on anyone. I don't think that talk did him any good, he's still bothering other kids, but he just knows not to mess with whats mine. Even though that was a one time incident, I know we will probably have more to endure in the near future. but to be honest, I'm not looking forward to it, but its something realistic that we have to look out for.

Your kids should not be made to feel miserable everyday, childhood is hard enough. We are responsible for our kid's welfare and bottom line if we have to offend a few people that is just how it has to be to protect our children. Do not allow someone who is habitually cruel or overbearing towards your kids to continue to get away it.

If your child tells you about being bullied, listen calmly and offer comfort and support. Kids are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying because they feel embarrassed and ashamed that it's happening, or worry that their parents will disappointed, upset, angry, or reactive.

Talk to principal or vice principal. Urge the school to adopt a no-bullying policy. All children should know that those who bully will be punished. Together go to school authorities to see what can be done in terms of mediation, and in terms of increased attention paid on the school grounds.

It's important to take bullying seriously and not just brush it off as something that kids have to "tough out." The effects can be serious and affect kid's sense of safety and self-worth. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as suicides and school shootings.


If the bullying doesn't stop

• Have a meeting with bullies parents 
• Remember that it is safer to work through your child school than to take matters into your own hands.
• Inform the school of any further bullying incidents. Speak to the principal
• Obtain copies of any and all documents from the school on incident, as the principal is required to make reports.
• Request a meeting to discuss the matter with the school board. 
• Seek further advise from your school regional office, or legal advise about your option.
• Have a meeting with bullies parents.

Bullying is something most children encounter in one form or another, and this is a serious problem and one which parents need be aware. As a parent, you should be able to recognize if your child is being bullied or if she is bullying someone else. You should also know how you can help! Make sure to listen to your child, especially if she complains about bullying behaviors. If you suspect that your child is being bullied, or is bullying others, you will need to get involved. You can make a difference in your child’s life and help put a stop to bullyi