LOVE SHOULDN'T HURT

October is violence awareness month. And it is an opportunity to shed more light on an issue that has claimed too many lives. Domestic violence and abuse does not discriminate, it can happen to anyone. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused—especially verbally and emotionally, although sometimes even physically as well. 

Domestic violence includes actual abuse or threat of abuse in physical, sexual, verbal or emotional harassment like child abuse to violence against women. It is often overlooked, excused, or denied. No one should be hit, punch, shove, restrain or any form of physical force. These types of abuse are used to gain and maintain total control over you. Abusive relationship should never be tolerated. No one should have to live in fear of the person they love.

Abusers always isolate their victims from friends and especially from family. They don’t want their victim to feel safe with turning to anyone for help. 

An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself. resulting in you losing  your self confidence, feeling worthless and powerless.

Abusers are very good at making excuses for unleashing their abuse up on you. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you. Just remember it is not your fault.

Your abuser’s apologies and loving gestures in between the episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. He may make you believe that you are the only person who can help him, that things will be different this time, and that he truly loves you. However, the dangers of staying are very real.

If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you’re hesitating—telling yourself that it’s none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.

Help change the facts. Speak up, speak out, and make a difference for victims of domestic violence.

 Domestic violence hotlines and help

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) – A crisis intervention and referral phone line for domestic violence. (Texas Council on Family Violence)

State Coalition List – Directory of state offices that can help you find local support, shelter, and free or low-cost legal services. Includes all U.S. states, as well as the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands. (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)

The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women – Specializing in providing support to male victims of abuse. (DAHMV)

International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies – Worldwide list of helplines and crisis centers. (HotPeachPages)

Help for Victims, Family and Friends – Where to find help if you or someone you know is being abused. (NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence)